My latest formal, and I made it myself!
Friday, January 10, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
The BF
I have a BF. His name is Sam, and I love him.
But we're not dating.
I can hear what you're thinking, all the way through the web and my computer screen.
Didn't she just say that he was her BF?
Why, yes, yes I did.
So why aren't they dating if she calls him her BF?
It's simple really. He's not my boyfriend. He's my best friend. There is a really big difference.
Truth: Sam is good looking. He's got good character, and he's a great guy. Most importantly, he's got a great love for the Lord.
(The first is a bonus, the rest are requirements)
So why aren't they dating?
Because even though I know all those things, it would be like dating my brother. Gross.
(Sam, I love ya man. But eww.)
I think that teenagers today are way to concerned about one meaning for BF that they forget the other.
Sam is amazing. I've known him for more than half my life. He's my twin, the Sam to my Frodo, and I would walk through fire for him. He listens to me when I need him to, helps me out. He's there for me. And I'm there for him.
I think that to many people care about one meaning for BF and, because of this, forget about the other definition.
Someone asked me once if I was Sam's girlfriend. My response was to look at the person like he was crazy and laugh. And then tell Sam who proceeded to laugh with me.
Yes, I am Sam's girl friend. I am a friend who happens to be of the female gender.
And that is totally okay. It's not weird at all.
So don't forget the BF stands for more than one thing. And in my opinion, the version I use is the most important.
<3 br="">
But we're not dating.
I can hear what you're thinking, all the way through the web and my computer screen.
Didn't she just say that he was her BF?
Why, yes, yes I did.
So why aren't they dating if she calls him her BF?
It's simple really. He's not my boyfriend. He's my best friend. There is a really big difference.
Truth: Sam is good looking. He's got good character, and he's a great guy. Most importantly, he's got a great love for the Lord.
(The first is a bonus, the rest are requirements)
So why aren't they dating?
Because even though I know all those things, it would be like dating my brother. Gross.
(Sam, I love ya man. But eww.)
I think that teenagers today are way to concerned about one meaning for BF that they forget the other.
Sam is amazing. I've known him for more than half my life. He's my twin, the Sam to my Frodo, and I would walk through fire for him. He listens to me when I need him to, helps me out. He's there for me. And I'm there for him.
I think that to many people care about one meaning for BF and, because of this, forget about the other definition.
Someone asked me once if I was Sam's girlfriend. My response was to look at the person like he was crazy and laugh. And then tell Sam who proceeded to laugh with me.
Yes, I am Sam's girl friend. I am a friend who happens to be of the female gender.
And that is totally okay. It's not weird at all.
So don't forget the BF stands for more than one thing. And in my opinion, the version I use is the most important.
<3 br="">
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2014 Resolutions
Last year when I made New Year's resolutions, it was in April. And it wasn't even for New Year's, it was me trying to write more on my blog.
Here's what I said:
So, I've decided that today marks a new year for my blog. I've posted the occasional thing, book reviews, recipes, devotionals, etc. My blogs new year resolution is to post at least three things a week. Some of it might be structured, some of it might be random. But I'm going to attempt to write at least three things a week to post.
It might be an article on how the day was, what I did and saw. Perhaps it will be a review. Or I might even post some of my own works. Who knows?
And you know what the funny thing is? I never did manage to write something three times a week.
But that's okay. To be honest, this blog is not as important as some of the things in my life.
Here's a fact: I am not going to write everyday. It's just not possible. I'm busy enough as it is, trying to finish highschool. I don't have the time to write out an article three times a week. I have papers to edit, math tests to take. You get it, right?
Life is not going to end because I didn't post something on my blog.
I didn't have any New Year's resolutions last year. I didn't think that I needed them. But this year, I do.
As I look over the past few years of my life, I feel kind of empty. I had some great experiences and good memories, but nothing was really concrete. Nothing really meant anything to me.
And it wasn't an emotional emptiness, it was a spiritual emptiness.
I grew up in a church. I really did. I can remember going to several different churches in the past sixteen years, but one that has always stood out was FUMC Nashville. This place is my home. I have walked those halls and prayed in those rooms for more than ten years. I grew up alongside some of my greatest friends, with whom I am so close that I consider them my family.
I am so thankful to my parents, who knew that this was the place God wanted us to be.
So, yeah, I grew up in a church. But that didn't mean that I was a Christian.
When I was young, I had a strong faith in God. This was largely due to my parents who made the decision to homeschool me at a young age, and also due to the teachings of my pastor and Sunday School teachers.
But, as I got older and grew up and began to understand more of the world that we live in, I started to question my faith. I wondered why God would let people suffer when he could do something to stop it. I was young, and I didn't understand what I do now.
One thing that I wanted was acceptance. Because of my homeschooling, (even though it is the best thing that ever happened to me) I felt isolated. Separated from my friends. More than half the time I only saw them on Sundays, and as I began to hit my teens I felt really different. From them, that is.
And at that time in my life being different wasn't okay.
Whenever they talked about school, I would have nothing to add to the conversation. I had no idea what they were talking about. I would just have to sit, and listen, and try to be a part of them even though, to me, I wasn't. I hated it. I felt like there was this wall between us that I could never climb.
It wasn't their fault really. They didn't understand, and I never explained how much pain they were causing me.
I just really wanted to fit in, but it was like no matter what I did, I couldn't.
In my mind, I was all alone, and I was hurting. And instead of turning to God, I turned away from him. People may think that I'm strong in my faith, but at that point in my life I wanted nothing to do with God. I went to church because I had to. I prayed because I had to. My heart wasn't in it any more.
This continued for a few years. Then I attended Disciple Now, a local weekend worship session that was run by some of the churches in our town. Those three days changed my life.
It was like I went through spiritual reawakening. The things they said, it seemed like they finally made sense to me. It clicked in my head. I finally understood what everyone had been trying to tell me all those years. I got it.
The night of February 26, 2011, I knelt in front of the stage and truly gave my heart to the Lord.
But, unfortunately, it didn't last that long. Things happened over the past two years, and nothing really changed. I thought that it would, but it didn't. I still felt, and still feel, separated from my friends. It's not their fault, and it's not mine, but there are times when I wonder if we are still even friends.
And then my grandmother died.
And then my youth pastors and people that I've known for years decided to leave the church.
And then my other grandparents moved states away.
It just seemed like nothing was really different and every time I turned around I was being hit by a battering ram. I let it knock me down. I let my insecurities get a hold of me, and just like when I was younger, I began to drift away from God. I was angry, and in pain, and I just seemed like nothing could make the bad stuff go away. I should have turned to Jesus, but I didn't. And there was the spiritual emptiness.
Then a friend said something to me. It was something like, "You are one of the most Godly people that I know."
I wanted to laugh.
Godly? Me? That is one of that last words I would have chosen to describe myself.
But for some reason, that night I took a look at myself and realized that the path I was letting myself walk on was only going to lead to more hurt as long as I let myself stay on it. I realized that I was just living a lie by walking the walk but not talking the talk. If there was one thing pounded into my head by all my spiritual leaders, it's that to be a Christian, you have to be a Christian. Outward signs of faith get you nowhere.
And I was going nowhere, fast.
I was in spiritual death.
And I hated myself for it.
So I started to pay more attention in church. I listened to my youth pastor more closely. I read my Bible a little more, trying to understand what I understood so easily when I was younger. Jesus knew what he was talking about when He said, "Let the little children come to me."
And I think I get it now. Somewhat.
Jesus Christ, God on Earth, made the choice to come to earth in the form of Man to be the ultimate sacrifice for the sins of the world. For my sins. For yours. He loved us enough to suffer humiliation before dying a terrible death. I didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve it. And we never will. But that just increases the beauty of His sacrifice. He didn't care, because He loves us. For Him, it was worth it.
And I will never be able to thank Him enough for it.
So, as a result of this, here are my New Year's Resolutions:
1) Read my Bible once every day no matter what.
2) Pray more
3) Be a Christian on the inside as well as the out.
It's not going to be easy. True Christian life never is. And it's not all going to change at once. The world is not going to turn in another direction, and all of my life problems aren't going to be solved in the next instant.
And that's okay.
I'm still going to feel separated from my friends. I will still feel alone sometimes, but I'm not truly alone. I never was.
I'm still going to feel pain. I'm going to hurt. But He will be there to share in my pain, and to wash away my tears once the storm has ended.
I will still be terrified about what the future holds for me. But He is next to me, holding my hand, and suddenly my fears are gone.
And I'll be okay.
Here's what I said:
So, I've decided that today marks a new year for my blog. I've posted the occasional thing, book reviews, recipes, devotionals, etc. My blogs new year resolution is to post at least three things a week. Some of it might be structured, some of it might be random. But I'm going to attempt to write at least three things a week to post.
It might be an article on how the day was, what I did and saw. Perhaps it will be a review. Or I might even post some of my own works. Who knows?
And you know what the funny thing is? I never did manage to write something three times a week.
But that's okay. To be honest, this blog is not as important as some of the things in my life.
Here's a fact: I am not going to write everyday. It's just not possible. I'm busy enough as it is, trying to finish highschool. I don't have the time to write out an article three times a week. I have papers to edit, math tests to take. You get it, right?
Life is not going to end because I didn't post something on my blog.
I didn't have any New Year's resolutions last year. I didn't think that I needed them. But this year, I do.
As I look over the past few years of my life, I feel kind of empty. I had some great experiences and good memories, but nothing was really concrete. Nothing really meant anything to me.
And it wasn't an emotional emptiness, it was a spiritual emptiness.
I grew up in a church. I really did. I can remember going to several different churches in the past sixteen years, but one that has always stood out was FUMC Nashville. This place is my home. I have walked those halls and prayed in those rooms for more than ten years. I grew up alongside some of my greatest friends, with whom I am so close that I consider them my family.
I am so thankful to my parents, who knew that this was the place God wanted us to be.
So, yeah, I grew up in a church. But that didn't mean that I was a Christian.
When I was young, I had a strong faith in God. This was largely due to my parents who made the decision to homeschool me at a young age, and also due to the teachings of my pastor and Sunday School teachers.
But, as I got older and grew up and began to understand more of the world that we live in, I started to question my faith. I wondered why God would let people suffer when he could do something to stop it. I was young, and I didn't understand what I do now.
One thing that I wanted was acceptance. Because of my homeschooling, (even though it is the best thing that ever happened to me) I felt isolated. Separated from my friends. More than half the time I only saw them on Sundays, and as I began to hit my teens I felt really different. From them, that is.
And at that time in my life being different wasn't okay.
Whenever they talked about school, I would have nothing to add to the conversation. I had no idea what they were talking about. I would just have to sit, and listen, and try to be a part of them even though, to me, I wasn't. I hated it. I felt like there was this wall between us that I could never climb.
It wasn't their fault really. They didn't understand, and I never explained how much pain they were causing me.
I just really wanted to fit in, but it was like no matter what I did, I couldn't.
In my mind, I was all alone, and I was hurting. And instead of turning to God, I turned away from him. People may think that I'm strong in my faith, but at that point in my life I wanted nothing to do with God. I went to church because I had to. I prayed because I had to. My heart wasn't in it any more.
This continued for a few years. Then I attended Disciple Now, a local weekend worship session that was run by some of the churches in our town. Those three days changed my life.
It was like I went through spiritual reawakening. The things they said, it seemed like they finally made sense to me. It clicked in my head. I finally understood what everyone had been trying to tell me all those years. I got it.
The night of February 26, 2011, I knelt in front of the stage and truly gave my heart to the Lord.
But, unfortunately, it didn't last that long. Things happened over the past two years, and nothing really changed. I thought that it would, but it didn't. I still felt, and still feel, separated from my friends. It's not their fault, and it's not mine, but there are times when I wonder if we are still even friends.
And then my grandmother died.
And then my youth pastors and people that I've known for years decided to leave the church.
And then my other grandparents moved states away.
It just seemed like nothing was really different and every time I turned around I was being hit by a battering ram. I let it knock me down. I let my insecurities get a hold of me, and just like when I was younger, I began to drift away from God. I was angry, and in pain, and I just seemed like nothing could make the bad stuff go away. I should have turned to Jesus, but I didn't. And there was the spiritual emptiness.
Then a friend said something to me. It was something like, "You are one of the most Godly people that I know."
I wanted to laugh.
Godly? Me? That is one of that last words I would have chosen to describe myself.
But for some reason, that night I took a look at myself and realized that the path I was letting myself walk on was only going to lead to more hurt as long as I let myself stay on it. I realized that I was just living a lie by walking the walk but not talking the talk. If there was one thing pounded into my head by all my spiritual leaders, it's that to be a Christian, you have to be a Christian. Outward signs of faith get you nowhere.
And I was going nowhere, fast.
I was in spiritual death.
And I hated myself for it.
So I started to pay more attention in church. I listened to my youth pastor more closely. I read my Bible a little more, trying to understand what I understood so easily when I was younger. Jesus knew what he was talking about when He said, "Let the little children come to me."
And I think I get it now. Somewhat.
Jesus Christ, God on Earth, made the choice to come to earth in the form of Man to be the ultimate sacrifice for the sins of the world. For my sins. For yours. He loved us enough to suffer humiliation before dying a terrible death. I didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve it. And we never will. But that just increases the beauty of His sacrifice. He didn't care, because He loves us. For Him, it was worth it.
And I will never be able to thank Him enough for it.
So, as a result of this, here are my New Year's Resolutions:
1) Read my Bible once every day no matter what.
2) Pray more
3) Be a Christian on the inside as well as the out.
It's not going to be easy. True Christian life never is. And it's not all going to change at once. The world is not going to turn in another direction, and all of my life problems aren't going to be solved in the next instant.
And that's okay.
I'm still going to feel separated from my friends. I will still feel alone sometimes, but I'm not truly alone. I never was.
I'm still going to feel pain. I'm going to hurt. But He will be there to share in my pain, and to wash away my tears once the storm has ended.
I will still be terrified about what the future holds for me. But He is next to me, holding my hand, and suddenly my fears are gone.
And I'll be okay.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Fair Ground Class
This morning I spent several hours teaching kindergarten students (around 200) all about the fruits and vegetables that are grown in the garden.
This week is our county fair and we always set up booths manned by our local 4-H & FFA members to raise awareness for ourselves and the farmers that make the fair, and indeed most of our lives possible.
It was wonderful to see the childlike innocence in their eyes as they learned about gardens, livestock, milking, soil, dairy, fruits, vegetables, meats, and pretty much anything else that can be associated with our farming industry.
We had a few rowdy kids, but most were well behaved.
I was especially funny when I told them that my mother made brownies with squash, and that even though they said they hated tomatoes they still loved them (due to the fact that they enjoy eating pizza and ketchup).
Having to shout over the fans in the barn made my throat hurt after a while, and I kept calling Samuel (the boy who was helping me teach) by his older brothers name, and I couldn't help but laugh when the kids asked silly questions, but I had a lot of fun teaching them about what comes out of our gardens.
This week is our county fair and we always set up booths manned by our local 4-H & FFA members to raise awareness for ourselves and the farmers that make the fair, and indeed most of our lives possible.
It was wonderful to see the childlike innocence in their eyes as they learned about gardens, livestock, milking, soil, dairy, fruits, vegetables, meats, and pretty much anything else that can be associated with our farming industry.
We had a few rowdy kids, but most were well behaved.
I was especially funny when I told them that my mother made brownies with squash, and that even though they said they hated tomatoes they still loved them (due to the fact that they enjoy eating pizza and ketchup).
Having to shout over the fans in the barn made my throat hurt after a while, and I kept calling Samuel (the boy who was helping me teach) by his older brothers name, and I couldn't help but laugh when the kids asked silly questions, but I had a lot of fun teaching them about what comes out of our gardens.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Firsthand
Firsthand is a smart, honest, and deeply felt journey that invites you to leave behind handed-down beliefs and find authentic faith.
"Our goal is to help you replace secondhand religion with a meaningful relationship," write authors Ryan and Josh Shook. "We want to help you get from a religion that you wear on the outside to a faith of your own-one that is authentically yours all the way through."
The brothers tell about growing up in a church only to realize that, "how things are supposed to be" had stopped working for them. So they set out to find what makes a young person's Christian faith stick-or not-and in the process, asked hundreds of other people, young and old, some really hard questions.
Like:
"Firsthand faith is the only kind that lasts because it's centered deep in your own mind and heart," write Josh and Ryan. "Sure, it's still a work in progress, but it's yours. It's you. In fact, firsthand faith is so real and personal that when hard times hit, it just gets stronger."
Taken from the inside cover of Firsthand.
The Shook brothers take a topic that many can relate to and yet none really discuss, and dive right into it. They explain how a "Secondhand religion" is not going to work out for people in the long run.
So, you're a teenager who's been going to church since you were born, you were baptized, you have memorized tons of verses and bible stories, you know the Book inside out, you know how to pray properly, you are the perfect example of what a Christian should be. You're textbook. Momma and Daddy taught you to believe in God and Jesus, so you believe in God and Jesus. You practically grew up in church.
That's wonderful, that's amazing. But that's common. That's something that has happened to most of the people who call themselves "Christian." But let's face it, you aren't experiencing true faith. You are riding on the faith of your parents, your pastor, your youth leader, and members of your congregation. You don't really have a religion of your own. Maybe you say that you've accepted Christ, but have you really? Or did you just do it because others expected it of you.
That is what secondhand faith is. It didn't belong to you from the start, a faith handed down to you.
The Shook brothers shake you. Firsthand explores why this secondhand faith happens, and how to prevent it, and then explains in such a way that teenagers and young adults can clearly understand and relate. The questions are answered, and backed up with experiences from outside sources. At the end of each of the eight chapters, there are comments from other people explaining how second and firsthand faith affected them. And then after that there are suggestions and links to websites and videos that might help the reader branch out on their own.
Every teenager should read Firsthand. I read it, and found myself relating to so much of the content. I had to take a step back and really examine myself. Firsthand made me look at things, and at my faith in a whole new light, and it truly changed my perspective on so many things. When I finished reading I asked myself, "Do I still want secondhand faith?" The answer is no. But you should find that out for yourself.
http://firsthandbook.com/
"Our goal is to help you replace secondhand religion with a meaningful relationship," write authors Ryan and Josh Shook. "We want to help you get from a religion that you wear on the outside to a faith of your own-one that is authentically yours all the way through."
The brothers tell about growing up in a church only to realize that, "how things are supposed to be" had stopped working for them. So they set out to find what makes a young person's Christian faith stick-or not-and in the process, asked hundreds of other people, young and old, some really hard questions.
Like:
- If God is real, then why do I feel empty?
- Why should I even try to follow God when I fail so often?
- How do I experience a connection with Christ that's more than surface level?
- Can I ever get past a "checklist Christianity" of do's and don'ts?
- Is it possible to have authentic faith when I'm full of doubts and questions?
- Can I really discover my purpose in life through a relationship with Christ?
"Firsthand faith is the only kind that lasts because it's centered deep in your own mind and heart," write Josh and Ryan. "Sure, it's still a work in progress, but it's yours. It's you. In fact, firsthand faith is so real and personal that when hard times hit, it just gets stronger."
Taken from the inside cover of Firsthand.
The Shook brothers take a topic that many can relate to and yet none really discuss, and dive right into it. They explain how a "Secondhand religion" is not going to work out for people in the long run.
So, you're a teenager who's been going to church since you were born, you were baptized, you have memorized tons of verses and bible stories, you know the Book inside out, you know how to pray properly, you are the perfect example of what a Christian should be. You're textbook. Momma and Daddy taught you to believe in God and Jesus, so you believe in God and Jesus. You practically grew up in church.
That's wonderful, that's amazing. But that's common. That's something that has happened to most of the people who call themselves "Christian." But let's face it, you aren't experiencing true faith. You are riding on the faith of your parents, your pastor, your youth leader, and members of your congregation. You don't really have a religion of your own. Maybe you say that you've accepted Christ, but have you really? Or did you just do it because others expected it of you.
That is what secondhand faith is. It didn't belong to you from the start, a faith handed down to you.
The Shook brothers shake you. Firsthand explores why this secondhand faith happens, and how to prevent it, and then explains in such a way that teenagers and young adults can clearly understand and relate. The questions are answered, and backed up with experiences from outside sources. At the end of each of the eight chapters, there are comments from other people explaining how second and firsthand faith affected them. And then after that there are suggestions and links to websites and videos that might help the reader branch out on their own.
Every teenager should read Firsthand. I read it, and found myself relating to so much of the content. I had to take a step back and really examine myself. Firsthand made me look at things, and at my faith in a whole new light, and it truly changed my perspective on so many things. When I finished reading I asked myself, "Do I still want secondhand faith?" The answer is no. But you should find that out for yourself.
http://firsthandbook.com/
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